Damn You Physics!

I have recently picked up a new hobby that I am quickly falling in love with: bowling. Call me a dork, but it's a good time. Throwing a fifteen pound ball down a lane at fifteen miles an hour and watching it crash into white phallic symbols is enough to wet any appetite for boredom relief. The only reason I am writing about this is because how stupid people are about it, including myself.

There is a certain jargon involved in a recreational bowling alley, and if you've never gone to one then trust me when I say that it is quite humorous. No matter where you go, you will always hear something along these lines, "You got robbed dude!" or, "That was so a strike, it was sooo a strike." Newsflash: it wasn't a strike you goofy man you.

I'm giving out free logic lessons today. The first one is this: if you shoot a basketball through the hoop and aren't awarded a numerical value based on the distance from which you shot, you got ripped off. The second is: If you are playing hockey and make the goalie look like a jackass by shooting it between his legs, but aren't givin a score, you got ripped off. The third: If you throw a ball down a long stretch of wood into white things but they don't all fall over, physics hates you.

Who robbed us of our strike? I don't get it; it's not like there is some man underneath the pins with a magnet that holds one down every once in a while, making that 300 game seem that much further away. It isn't like the ball has a mind of its own and states, right before slamming into the pocket, "Nah, fuck the ten pin. I don't want to knock that one over."

To all of you who bowl, next time you complain and say you got robbed, just think about the fact that the only entity responsible is God. 

Who else could keep that damn ten pin there?